NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

Unless you've ever worked in a retail environment, or any environment having to do with customer service, you won't relate to it.

Actually, you might. People are pretty dumb.

Check it. 

BAHAHHAHAHAHA

LETS SMOKE A FATTY BLUNT (LEGALLY THAT IS)

So you and I have all heard of what's going on in the states, hopefully. Since I've been here in France, I have paid more attention to what's going on back home in the states then I ever have before. So guess what's happening?

California is could become my favorite state, and maybe the government is about to pull its head out of its ass.

I'm also going to see how many different names for pot I can think of without looking it up on Urban Dictionary. To help you out, I will henceforth be highlighting all terminology in a lovely color green, just for this occasion.

There has been a lot of talk about the legalization of the 420 lately, and although I'm sure not all of you agree with this idea, I must say I am looking forward to the next couple years with hardcore enthusiasm. And believe me, I'm not just saying this because I like to have a bowl every once in a while. In fact, I rarely ever smoke, but I can't deny something good when I hear about it. First, lets please regard that California is putting a stop to the massive raids being put up against those who legal sell mary-jane to cancer patients and all those other guys who need to be baked just to feel something other then the sting of chemical radiation treatment. The Obama administration made it clear that although ganja is technically illegal, the police can no longer raid licensed dealers to the terminally ill. I call that a small victory. 

Now lets talk about the fact that a metric fuck ton of states (for example Michigan) have been pushing bills to legalize grass for other terminally ill folks.  And of course those awesome Obama/Biden guys just nominated Seattle police chief Gil Kerlikowske as America's next Drug Czar (oh and Obama overturned that wonderful Bush idea of making the drug-dude apart of the cabinet, because when did Bush ever have a bad idea?). For those of you who are A) not from Seattle or B) are from Seattle but don't partake in cannabis, Kerlikowske is the man who decided that Seattle cops were too busy to care about dube and decriminalized the action of personal use. Now, you can toke up next to a cop and he won't care! God, I love Seattle. 

That one guy everyone thinks is hot but I'm not so into, Michael Phelps got caught puffing on some pod and guess what? He hasn't shot anyone, is still as smart as he was before, can probably kick your ass in a swimming pool, and was only dumped by Kellogs. Oh hey, wait, he's still making more money then my education costs, I think he's doing good. Did we just disprove a myth?

The recent news that a Mexican Drug Lord made the Forbes list this year, and the fact that tensions around the US-Mexican boarder have been high due to herb trafficing has really started to shine a light on all the under-the-counter crap that goes on because of shish smuggling: including but not limited to the selling to minors, all the untaxed money thats being given to this Mexican drug dude, and - oh you know - death. People are started to notice, is it actually worth it?

Introduce the facts: weed has completely dethroned corn as America's highest grossing cash crop, and I don't think I'm alone when I say that legalization of mexican locoweed would do wonders for our dying economy. Alcohol prohibition ended in the hight of the great depression, 1933, which pumped up the economy and ended illegal bootlegging. Jolly green legalization would get our economy back on track in a heart beat. Legalize it, and then tax the shit out of it like they do for alcohol and cigarettes. Remember moonshiners? Just like dealers would be, those guys were out of business in a snap. Not to mention think of how many new jobs will be created because of production, packaging, advertisement, and - of course - sales.

This leads me to my last and final thing to write about today folks. California has a bill that would monitor, tax, and -above all - legalize the hay. And with all the money that will come from this, and how many stoners live in California, I am really praying for this one guys. And not just cause I like to dabble in kawaii electric every now and again. Think about how much this will do for public safety, health, the economy, and not to mention being a little more badass when I tell people "Yeah, I'm from America". Come on California, do good for us baby. You failed me on Prop 8, but I'm just waiting for the day where head shops and rolling papers aren't just for cigarettes. 

I am so excited to go to Amsterdam for my vacation. 

THIS MAN IS MY HERO (SORT OF)

According to CNN, around 2 a.m. in buck-fuck-nowhere in Australia, a kangaroo attacked a human.

And by attacked I mean jumped through a window all ninja style and destroyed the place with its bad ass ninja skills. Oh, thats a paraphrased quote by the way. You'll see what I mean.

Although I am not okay with cruelty to animals, when a kangaroo smashes through MY window at 2 in the morning, I'll want this brave man with me. 

PUSHING DAISIES

Because for some reason, I only jump onto loving a t.v. show when its been:

A) Out for a long time and on its third season.

B) Cancelled.

This would be an example of column B, Pushing Daisies is probably one of my new favorite t.v. shows. And it was cancelled after two seasons. None the less, I fully encourage all of you to take a look at this show. Perhaps a sudden flood of fan based support will bring the show back, at least to wrap up some loose ends. 

This show really makes me want to learn to bake pies and bag a six-foot-three boy with social issues.

FUCK MY LIFE

My friend Kathryn (not to be confused with Catherine), showed me this awesome  website today. Fuck-my-life-dot-com is one you have to add to you weekly blog check. This page is hilarious, filled with wonderful fuck my life moments from all over the world. This one is definitely going on my favorite website list. Seriously, I'm in love. 

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID..

Todays blog is all about stupid people, which spawned from the very first thing you'll probably be seeing on this page. Its times like these where I always remember a helpful line from one of my favorite comedians, Ron White : "You can't fix stupid". And you know what Ron, today I am going to prove you right. 

If anything, this just like totally proves that Beauty totally like comes with brains and that everyone is totally just jealous and that its totally NOT a beauty pageant its a scholarship contents to a university, or something like that so I can totally go to school with that one chick from the Hills! Its all about being smart(and apparently the Iraq).

In other news about stupid people (or I guess things that somehow made there way into people) all I have to say is this: What the fuck

Stephenie Meyer? 

From leaving the United States (which by my last post you can tell is a little hard for me) I was looking forward one thing above most all: no more god damned Twilight.

Good news for me. Here its not called Twilight, its "La Fascination", so in a twisted sense I think I got what I wanted (but still that wasn't exactly what I meant). Take a look at this crap: 

NOTE: Because they TOTALLY speak French in Forks, Washington its obvious that its been dubbed, which in mind mind grants it the WTF status I've given it. 

The only good thing (in my mind) that has come out of this stupid Twilight obsession would have to be the great video that some of us found before I left for France. Its probably the funniest thing I have seen in a while and it took a genius far greater then I to think this up. And who do we have to thank for this? Non other then those awesome Jizz in my pants guys. Check it out:

Who knows, maybe I'll go see the real thing in France (dubbed in French, of course). That would be an interesting experience.