PERSPECTIVES

This right here brings into perspective how small we are as human, and how much technology, globalization, and everything in between affects us.

Its kinda F-ed up.

WTF?

There is a secret war you guys might not know about, and it is between PETA and everyone who consumes meat. Specifically KFC.

The Colonel is rolling over in his deep-fried grave right about now. 

According to NYTimes, KFC offered a handfull of cash to fill some potholes for the good ol' State of Kentucky, on the condition that those potholes read "Re-Freshed by KFC" in non-permanent street chalk. Lets just hope for a rain, folks.

If the story wasn't weird enough, PETA has offered double the money then KFC to do the exact

same thing, as long as the advertising reads "KFC Tortures Animals" with a link to their website kentuckfriedcruelty.com and a lovely picture of our well known Colonel sporting a fine pair of devil horns. But the mayor of Louisville, after whole heartedly munching on a bucket of clucks and fanning himself with the money donated by KFC, turned down PETA's offer. The reasoning being that KFC has long been a staple of Louisville, Kentucky's history. Personally, if I was the mayor of a city, I'd rather have PETA be a staple of my towns history then a fast food chain of finger-licken-fried-chicken. 

Sad thing here, is that I checked out the website. And now I don't think I'll be going to KFC anymore. I am by no means a vegetarian, but the least I can know when I look down at my roast (or in this case my breaded chicken) is that its been killed nicely. 

On a side note: KFC has given to the same offer to a number of other American Cities. No word yet on if PETA's gonna be doing the same.

But PETA, I want to know if I eat the biscuits and mashed potatoes, am I still a bad person?

THIS MAN IS MY HERO (SORT OF)

According to CNN, around 2 a.m. in buck-fuck-nowhere in Australia, a kangaroo attacked a human.

And by attacked I mean jumped through a window all ninja style and destroyed the place with its bad ass ninja skills. Oh, thats a paraphrased quote by the way. You'll see what I mean.

Although I am not okay with cruelty to animals, when a kangaroo smashes through MY window at 2 in the morning, I'll want this brave man with me. 

...THAT DRIVES ME INSANE

Because I am in a super bad mood right now, I am going to give you all a blog about all the miniscule things that I avidly hate. Right now I have my period, I'm getting sick, I'm sore all over, I hit my head, I want alone time (which I never get here), and someone just got on my nerves. So in the spirit of all that ugly hate, a blog post about random things that I hate in no particular order.

GUM-CHEWERS

You might as well be rolling a giant piece of meat in your mouth, because thats the kind of effect it gives me. I rarely ever chew gum because I don't want to become that which I hate, and that is a loud-gum-popping-can't-chew-with-their-mouth-closed-annoying-person. I always get stuck to this person on the bus, or in class, or its the person I happen to be hanging out with at that particular moment. This is one of my pet peeves, and its worse when they're chewing it right in your ear. For me it brings this anger bubbling up into my body, I just can't take it. Which also might have something to do with the fact that I can't chew gum for longer then ten minutes before feeling like I want to throw up, so maybe I am secretly jealous. All I know is the other day in class I was stuck next to a girl who was a nasty combination between the gum-chewer and the whisperer (who will be coming up in this blog shortly). I almost decked this chick.

SNOW

You know you've become an adult when this symbol of childhood and innocence starts becoming something that you smite when you get the chance. But I'm not bitter (okay I AM), I use to love snow. That is until SNOWMAGGEDON 2008 right before I left for France and I didn't get to see my family or my friends at all. Now whenever it snows here in Grenoble, I find myself sneering at the snow gods, only remembering how horrible it was to be trapped in my Seattle Apartment for a week and a half. There are few moments in my life where I have been so stur-crazy that I had to leave where ever I was, and in those circumstances, it was usually pretty easy for me to leave. But around the time when my roommate had to pretty much tackle me to the ground because I wanted to get out of Seattle so badly and it was too dangerous to drive, I realized my love for snow was as icy as the winter itself (omg what an awesome metaphor).

ARIZONA

I'm sixteen, and my father wants to take us on a family vacation because we have never had one, and I soon learned why. Its because my mother is an airhead, my father is equally airhead-y and a control freak, and I cannot live for an extended period of time without a large body of water. This is Arizona, where there is nothing but desert, and desert, and rich people who for some strange reason like the desert. Now I'm sure a lot of awesome things have come from Arizona, I just can't think of any right now and I'm fairly sure nothing will come to me later. The only good thing was that I had a pool, filled with six year olds, but no big deal. 

SELF HELP BOOKS

Most likely written by some crazy religious fanatic or Dr. Phil, this is the perfect thing for someone who has absolutely no control over their lives. Now I'm sure there are some good self help books out there, but my personal hate spawned from a specific experience when - during a really hard time of my life - someone who was supposed to be my friend (but had effectively "ditched" me because she couldn't handle my hard time), met with me just to give me a self help book. I was insulted, I was furious, I was laughing. The situation ended with my mouth hanging open and my firm choice then and there to never read a self help book. I still have that book, although I have never opened it. 

THE WHISPER-ER

This is right up there with gum chewing for me. And for those of you stalkers, yes this is just what that girl in class next to me was doing in correlation with her awful gum chewing. Whenever I am in a room that is quiet, the last thing I want to hear is the buzzing of whispers in the back of the room. We get a lot of these in our language labs, that person who just can't seem to type out a sentence in French or read a French word without whispering it to themselves. Combine that with the gum chewer like I had in my last class and you have a world class horrifying-Kat moment. I had to put on my headphones and crank out my itunes to drown this chick out, but of course nothing could drown out that horrid combination of sounds.

STRONG PERFUME

Now I know that this one is because I have a really sensitive sense of smell. When I smell a woman wearing really strong perfume, my nose scrunches up and I get the sense that I am about to up-chuck. I also have a wonderful habit of sitting next to these folks, and maybe if I'm lucky they are gum chewing whisperers too. All I know is that I am always super afraid when I go to buy/put on perfume since I secretly fear that I'll - once again - become that which I hate.

CHALK

I don't really understand this one either. But I think it has something to do with the gritty feeling it has on your hands, especially when it gets under your nails. I don't really have too much to say about this one, since I don't really see chalk used anymore except for on sidewalks and old classrooms. But I've heard they now have glow-in-the-dark chalks and bubble chalk, but I don't know how the latter one works. 

 

R.E.M TOTALLY GOT THAT ONE RIGHT

Because December 21st 2012 is COMING motherfuckers. In fact you only have 1414 days 13 hours 11 minutes and 25 seconds left to prepare for it. What on EARTH are you doing reading this blog?! I mean, you have vital planning to do, people to say goodbye to, life dreams to fulfill, and 2012 survival kits to buy! If anything you are just wasting more of the precious moments you have left on this earth, because even though no one knows what's going to happen on 2012 (except for an expert team of Mayan scholars as said by CNN, but they don't count) the world is still holding its breath for someone to at least give them a little hint of what's going down. Well it's time to exhale world, Hollywood's got your back.

Thats right, the guys with the cameras have covered everything we've ever worried about. From vampire's who can't act to endless CGI animation that looks so real, we've finally got what's going to happen right here, we know what to expect, we know what the Earth is gonna do to us (what a bitch considering its not like we've even polluted or anything like that). 

Oh look, its a monk running from a giant title wave going over a mountain. Why does that seem impossible? Oh, wait. 

My favorite part of this has to be the epic questions at the beginning though, because thats both constructive to brainwashing an entire group of Americans as well as creating enough drama to make them shell out ten-seventyfive for a movie. And finally we come to on final conclusion: What is it that the government will do to prepare us? Absolutely nothing. Surprise, surprise.

Personal Note: My sister's pregnant again (woohoo!) and I really have to pee.

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID..

Todays blog is all about stupid people, which spawned from the very first thing you'll probably be seeing on this page. Its times like these where I always remember a helpful line from one of my favorite comedians, Ron White : "You can't fix stupid". And you know what Ron, today I am going to prove you right. 

If anything, this just like totally proves that Beauty totally like comes with brains and that everyone is totally just jealous and that its totally NOT a beauty pageant its a scholarship contents to a university, or something like that so I can totally go to school with that one chick from the Hills! Its all about being smart(and apparently the Iraq).

In other news about stupid people (or I guess things that somehow made there way into people) all I have to say is this: What the fuck

Stephenie Meyer? 

From leaving the United States (which by my last post you can tell is a little hard for me) I was looking forward one thing above most all: no more god damned Twilight.

Good news for me. Here its not called Twilight, its "La Fascination", so in a twisted sense I think I got what I wanted (but still that wasn't exactly what I meant). Take a look at this crap: 

NOTE: Because they TOTALLY speak French in Forks, Washington its obvious that its been dubbed, which in mind mind grants it the WTF status I've given it. 

The only good thing (in my mind) that has come out of this stupid Twilight obsession would have to be the great video that some of us found before I left for France. Its probably the funniest thing I have seen in a while and it took a genius far greater then I to think this up. And who do we have to thank for this? Non other then those awesome Jizz in my pants guys. Check it out:

Who knows, maybe I'll go see the real thing in France (dubbed in French, of course). That would be an interesting experience.