ON ROMEO

If you look up 'Romeo' in the dictionary, they're won't be a picture of Leonard Whiting there. But you'll get the origin, and you'll get some other nifty stuff too. Romeo: 1 - The hero of Shakespeare's romatic tragedy Romeo and Juliet. 2 - A code word representing the letter R, used in radio communication. 3 - An attractive, passionate male seducer or lover.

Something here seams wrong to me. The first I can account for as being completely true, as a student of English Literature and a lover in general of all things Shakespearean. The second I have no idea about. But the third? When did Romeo become cognates with the words ladies man, womanizer, playboy, babe magnet, stud? Is that you, fair Romeo?

Now, if you read Romeo and Juliet, it is mentioned briefly an ity-bity part about someone named Rosaline. For those of you who don't speak old english, I'll translate it for you.

- You look like you've been up all night.

- I was 

- Were you courting (for lack of a better word) Rosaline?

- Rosaline?! How could I be with Rosaline when I've fallen in love with the best gal around. We're getting hitched, Julie and I. 

And this is the point in which he starts telling the father about how he has fallen in love with Juliet, and how he would like to marry her. In fact he asks the father to MARRY them that afternoon. If he were a - just like Britney's sayin bouts K-Fed - womanizer, he would not be so keen on marrying here.

Okay, so it blows for Rosaline who may or may not have had her little heart broken. But we need to look at the bigger picture here. 

If Romeo was such a playboy or a ladies man, we would have the feeling that he had a million other girls he liked before Juliet and before Rosaline. Women would have been fawning over him at the party in which he fell for Juliet, which is not the case. He is portrayed as a very awkward youth standing around and waiting for something - ANYTHING to happen. Further more when fair Tybalt is annoying Lord Capulet about the removal of Romeo, Lord C even states that Romeo is a 'virtuous youth' and he would not 'for all my wealth remove him from this house'. Now, would those words be reserved for Casanova? 

I know this isn't super scholarly because I don't really have all my sources with me at the moment, but I think I would actually like to do some hardcore scholarly writing on this. I wanna know why Romeo now means heartthrob, and why so many people seem to have forgotten about who Romeo really was (you know, half of the whole star-crossed lover thing). 

I'd also like to know if the people who really think Romeo was the seducer he was actually read Romeo and Juliet? 

The english language and the stupidity of the masses piss me off. Someone as talented as Shakespeare and something as beautiful as Romeo and Juliet only comes across once in a language. Can we just not fuck up that beauty and stand back to appreciate it? 

BAHAHHAHAHAHA

I'M IN LOVE

This is a story within a story within a story within a blog post. Stay with me here folks. 

Today on my tram ride home from school, a man came on with what appeared to be a large accordion. Automatically, he had my attention. And then when he started playing stereotypical French Accordion music, my hear just about melted from how freakin' picturesque it was. I'm living in France, and here is a Frenchman playing French Accordion music on my tram. Why-oh-why wasn't I sipping coffee at the Eiffel Tower with someone named Pierre?

Probably because the only guy I've met named Pierre had no interesting qualities besides being named Pierre.

Never the less - inspired by this, I came home flipped on the Amélie soundtrack and started searching for some more accordion music. Specifically, some more awesome Yann Tierson stuff. At this point my friends I happened to stumble across the man I want to marry. 

Okay, so when I say I want to marry him, I don't actually mean I am going to go out and 

find where he lives and become his bff just to get into his pants (although if the opportunity to get into his pants were to arise (heh heh) I wouldn't turn it down). I'm just in love with this guy because hands down he is purely talented and has never made the accordion look so good. He name is Dave Thomas, he's from the UK, and he plays the piano and the accordion. Now there are three particular reasons why I am hardcore in love with this kid. They are as follows:

1 - Who can play the accordion looking that fucking sexy?

2 - He apparently plays all of his music by ear. 

3 - Pure unadulterated mother-fucking talent. No joke.

I'm not completely sure of his story, but he's a big fan of Yann Tierson, and has some of his own awesome stuff on his youtube page. He also did some music for the New York Fashion week, which I've heard and is pretty awesome.

Now Dave Thomas has three sites you need to check out, because he's trying to get his name out there. I fully support this, and thus am giving them to you: Check out his Youtube, Myspace, and personal website. 

I am not a fan of paying for music, but I actually shelled out the how-ever-many-dollars-pounds-convert-to so I could get my hands on this stuff. Seriously kids, thats gotta mean something to you.

That being said, why don't more people play the accordion? I personally have an estranged uncle who plays, but he's kind of a weirdo and is deeply in love with polka music (no lie, I couldn't make that shit up). However I find the lovely French-style accordion (RE: Yann Tierson and Dave Thomas) to be particularly beautiful. In fact, I now have decided it is my destiny to marry a skinny man who plays accordion (now, this is not just because I am in awe of Dave Thomas, I happen to love skinny boys and the accordion - I see no downside here). Or maybe I should make it my personal goal to play the accordion too, although there is no way in hell I'll look as cool as the aforementioned prodigy. 

I hope you all enjoyed this issue of Accordion News (oh yes, I will be blogging on this a little more) and I will end this session with Dave Thomas' "Waking Dream".

Enjoy.

CAN I BE HIM WHEN I GROW UP?

So I have this new fascination with youtube, which comes from going to school in a foreign country and not being able to work here. As I have said one thousand times, I am so bored. But thats okay, because spanning from that is entertainment (both yours and mine).

I don't remember how I found out about Shane Dawson, but he has to be my new favorite guy on this planet. He's a celebrated youtube star and everyone of his videos I am pretty much in love with. I find myself quoting them every once in a while (to the dismay of everyone who knows me).

But the reason I love Shane Dawson is because I feel like deep down we can all relate to him. We've all got a little bit of Shananay inside of us, just trying to break out.

Here's his latest awesome video: 

THIS MAN IS MY HERO (SORT OF)

According to CNN, around 2 a.m. in buck-fuck-nowhere in Australia, a kangaroo attacked a human.

And by attacked I mean jumped through a window all ninja style and destroyed the place with its bad ass ninja skills. Oh, thats a paraphrased quote by the way. You'll see what I mean.

Although I am not okay with cruelty to animals, when a kangaroo smashes through MY window at 2 in the morning, I'll want this brave man with me. 

PUSHING DAISIES

Because for some reason, I only jump onto loving a t.v. show when its been:

A) Out for a long time and on its third season.

B) Cancelled.

This would be an example of column B, Pushing Daisies is probably one of my new favorite t.v. shows. And it was cancelled after two seasons. None the less, I fully encourage all of you to take a look at this show. Perhaps a sudden flood of fan based support will bring the show back, at least to wrap up some loose ends. 

This show really makes me want to learn to bake pies and bag a six-foot-three boy with social issues.

TRUEBLOOD V. TWILIGHT: THE THROW DOWN OF THE CENTURY

Since Vampire's are getting more popular then ever, and I just because finished watching the entire TrueBlood series as well as started reading the books the series spawned from, I decided to give the people what they want: sexy vampires.

TWILIGHT:

A bad movie based on an even worse book. Brought to you by that abomination of a writer Stephanie Meyer, who pretty much became a slayer of the English language when she came out with her poorly crafted, grammatically incorrect novel. This woman dedicated her last book to Muse and sites Linkin Park as one of her main inspirations. Who is this woman and why did she write? Oh, to bring screaming hoards of emo fangirls with no fashion sense and braces to swoon over the possibility of meeting a real life Edward. Keep on dreamin' girls, he's just around the corner waiting for you.

TrueBlood:

A HBO series loosely based on the novels of Charlaine Harris about a bar girl who falls for a vampire. Harris also wrote a series of novels that have about the same merit as Meyer's, but are far less obnoxious in the sense that they were written for an older audience and thus have much less emo fan girls crushing on a Southern vampy named Bill. Because honestly the name Edward is a far better vampire name, and Bills supposed to be like thirty, and omg that is just like way totally to old. Like I said, less obnoxious Twilight-ers makes me like it more, although her book is at the same writing level as Meyers, so I can't play it up too much.

THE THROW DOWN

Literary Merit:

Twilight: A story about your normal teenage girl who moves into this nowhere town in Washington and ends up dating the most coveted guy in school who also happens to be a vampire. Shocker. Not much of a plot in the sense that there really isn't one other then "omg omg he's so hot", and it kind of blows that in the first book Meyer sort of threw in a problem with other vampires because she had half the book written and realized all that she had done was talk about how hot Edward was. Ergo, she threw in some bad guys. Did ya cover foreshadowing in school honey? 

Dead Until Dark: This one automatically wins in the vampire genre for having a plot. That being, scientists have figured out a way to make synthetic blood, meaning that vampires can stop living their secret lives and 'come out of the coffin' (har-har). Meaning that some of them are adapting to local society, and like Americans - people intolerably freak out. Thus spawning a long winded set of murders through the town somehow related to vampires, and our little set of heros has got to figure it out before someone is wrongly accused. Hey, she had a plot. I'm happy. Although I must admit I did have a bad habit of skipping ahead to the interesting stuff.

On the Screen:

Twilight: Horrible acting on parts of everyone in the movie. But for some reason I still think its better then the book. Maybe its because we get to see Alice break someone's neck at the end, or the fact that the director worked in some foreshadowing. But mainly I think its because the 300+ pages of "omg i love you omg this isn't going to work because I'm a vampire omg he's so hot" were cut out. Although I must admit I was partial to the baseball scene, just because it had Supermassive Black Hole by Muse in it, so good work on the soundtrack.

TrueBlood: First off, I must say that its indie-creative opening song scene really makes me love this show all by itself. After that, there is much more character development and foreshadowing in the show then in the books. Sam and Jason and Tara (who isn't even in the first book) are actually full existing characters rather then just flat ones and you can follow there own little stories rather then just staying in Sookie's head - which is nice because first person perspective often bores me. It also really conveys the prejudice that 'out of the coffin' vampires face, which is something the book doesn't cover at all really. I have a feeling the series is going to start heading away from the book, because at the season finale there was this new teen chick vampire, who wasn't in the book. Which is fine because I think Bill and Sookie break up in the book, and I don't like sorrow in my mindless time-fillers. Although the downside is that, just like with the books, I found myself skipping ahead to the interesting stuff often.

Leading Ladies:

Bella Swan: In the book, a lot of Bella's internal dialogue is obnoxious and could easily be cut out. I could go without the ten pages about how hot Edward is every chapter. In the movie, whoever plays her can't really act, and thats okay because no one else in the movie can either. She doesn't really do too well with exclamation or anything like that at all, although my favorite part was probably towards the end while they're in the hospital and he's talking about leaving her, and her only response is some incoherent babble of words. Priceless. I usually pull for my leading ladies when they're brunette, just because I harbor resentment to all those 50s and 60s movies where the "bad girl" is always a brunette and the sweet leading lady is a blond. Somehow though, this one doesn't make me like her any more. Although I did like the mittens she wore.

Sookie Stackhouse: I'm just going to start by saying that Sookie is probably the first female character in a while that hasn't just annoyed the shit out of me. That being said, she's kind of obnoxious in the book. The series however makes up for that one pretty well. Although she can get obnoxiously dramatic at times and kick poor vampy Bill out when he needs to get laid (and thats just plain mean), I like the fact that she can live her life away from him and doesn't use him like an oxygen take like poor Bella constantly does in both the book and the movie. Did I mention the actress that plays her is award-winning? Well she is, and she is a damn good one. When she laughs, I laugh. When she cries, I probably do to. See, simply amazing.

Vampy-boys:

Edward Cullen: Although being somewhat of a turn on in the book, he always did get rather obnoxious with the whole "I think it would be best if you left me because I am dangerous and etc.", but hell he was still entertaining. And good mental eye candy. The movie kind of ruined that. The dude who plays Edward (who most of you will remember as the dude-who-died-but-still-couldn't-act in Harry Potter 4) cannot act. Simple. Another down is that for some disgusting reason, production of Twilight thought it was okay to put so much makeup on him that his neck and his face had different colors entirely, and they didn't bother to do away with his five-o-clock-shadow. He's also the owner of some pretty great lines, such as the infamous "skin of a killer". You tell her Edward. You tell her what a big bad killer you are, that's a special boy.

Bill Compton: Automatic props for the bangin' last name. Okay, so the dude has a freaky taste in music, so I'm gonna take those last name props away. Anyways, in the book he is almost obnoxious. And then he gets a little sex-crazed which kinda ruins the whole Southern Gentleman thing (although there is a particularly interesting quote about how the thought women's under-things during the civil war was sexy, freak). But he improves dramatically in the show, not really ruining that gentlemanly thing so badly. He also looks like a vampire, in the sense that he's kinda dark and twisted and not just some teenager running around. And he doesn't have this whole "I don't wanna kill people" thing, he's very realistic - I like that about him. Plus, he's got a really nice ass. 

Ooh thats Steamy...:

Lets jump to the fourth book: Where Edward and Bella get married, have apparently a lot of hot steamy sex that is never talked about but only slightly referenced to, and then pop out some kind of freaky demon child with a stupid name. I know I can be hard on Twilight and I have a bias against it, but what the fuck? No. Absolutely not. You lose, Meyer. The only thing this did was become a giant reason to remember your birth control.

Every book, and every episode: If you like graphic sex, don't read the books. Harris describes the sex vaguely and its kind of random when it does happen. But if you do like watching something that is almost porn but not as perverted, feel free to watch TrueBlood. Every episode. Hell, if its not her brother getting some or Tara, all you have to do is wait six episodes for Sookie to finally loose her V-card to the big V himself (aw man, horrible joke). And if their first scene isn't steamy enough for you, the do it in a graveyard later which at least had "WTF?" points in my mind.

My final verdict: 

TrueBlood wins by a landslide. Its like Obama in the 2008 elections. 

NOTE: I probably should have titled this post "REASONS WHY TRUEBLOOD KICKS TWILIGHT'S ASS", but maybe next time. 

TOP FIVE RESONS FOR DATING A SWEDE

I have had my heart set on visiting Sweden for some time now. I mean who wouldn't want to visit Sweden? Okay so the Kronor isn't doing to hot right now, but look at all these other awesome perks! Sweden is a neutral country that has successfully stayed out of two world wars (maybe the US could learn a thing or two from that), has on of the longest life expectancy rates, is probably the least sexist country in the world, plans to be oil-free by 2020 (the US could learn a thing or two about that too), free education and health care, was originally founded by vikings, still has a face monarchy like England, and although its pretty much ass freezing in winter there are long summer days that are somewhat pleasurable (so I've heard)!

Did I also mention that Sweden has probably the most beautiful people in the world and pioneered the whole porn-thing, doncha know!? 

If you can tell where this is about to be headed, you guessed it. My number one reason for wanting to go to Sweden: Men. But come on, I have my reasons! In fact, here's five of them:

1. SKINNY BOYS WITH BLUE EYES

I don't know what it is either, but I have come to understand, after casually being interested in a few people, that there are two things I am physically attracted to above all. Skinny boys with blue eyes. If he is super tall (and Swedes are stereotypically as such), then it is all the more of a bonus for me, but I'm a hardcore sucker for a boy with big baby blues. One look into those and I melt like a marshmallow between chocolate and crackers. Sad.

2. A-FRICKEN-DORABLE

There is something just too perfect about a shy boy for me. Maybe its the fact that I'm a loud mouth who needs someone to balance her out, maybe its because deep down I'm shy too, but its probably because I get off on the whole strong-silent thing. Its interesting. What is he thinking? Why isn't he talking about his day? Why does he keep looking at his hands? Why won't he just tell me for the love of Christ? But something about it is just attractive. Apparently there is some kind of "look" they give out, like they just radiate "I'm a shy boy at heart but really I'm not I just want you to think I'm a shy boy but I'm really thinking normal male things about what your underwear looks like". But hey, fools me. 

3. LIKE OMG HE CAN READ

Since Sweden has free education, Swedes are pretty well educated and its rare that one of them doesn't even finish highschool. Trust me, coming from a girl who goes to a University with predominantly gay men, and those men around the University probably can't count without using there toes, education is a big deal for me. And in America having a highschool diploma doesn't grant you much in the way of smarts, at least in Sweden they have to read at there age level to graduate.

4. BECAUSE I AM THAT SHALLOW...

....and because I think indie elitist douche-bags are sexy, I like a man with some fashion sense. What else can I expect from the country that brought us H&M? I like a man who wears those obnoxious slightly heeled leather shoes with the pointed toe, straight legged jeans, and a crisp pea coat. Call me an indie elitist snob (and if you know me you probably have), but its extraordinarily sexy. Also, take a look at the model in this picture. Can you say Kat's dream boy? 

5. HE DOES WHAT?!

Dishes! You heard right! He does the dishes, and the laundry, and cleans the bathroom or the living room or anything else you possible could wish for him to clean - as long as you do your far share of cleaning too, that is. And the best part of that is that I'm not making it up, its true! Swedish men have been taught that they need to share all the work between a man and a woman (or man/man woman/woman depending on your preference). This goes along with Sweden being the least Sexist country in the world, consider it to be your California of Europe, Sweden is the testing ground for liberal movement and women's rights are a BIG one here. Just don't expect him to pay for your date.... (Best part of the cleaning thing, some study that I read some where a long time ago but I KNOW exists shows that men who do more housework have more sex. As long as the man is mine and the house is mine and the sex is mine, I see no down side here).

And I KNOW whats on the inside of someone is what really makes them attractive, but its always fun to make out these lists and who knows: maybe some Swede will read this and think we'll be perfect together. All I know is that my game plan here at the University de Grenoble is to make friends with the Swedes and bag me a hot Swedish boy... since I've heard the best place to grab one is outside of Sweden, and since this is France.....