CAN I BE HIM WHEN I GROW UP?

So I have this new fascination with youtube, which comes from going to school in a foreign country and not being able to work here. As I have said one thousand times, I am so bored. But thats okay, because spanning from that is entertainment (both yours and mine).

I don't remember how I found out about Shane Dawson, but he has to be my new favorite guy on this planet. He's a celebrated youtube star and everyone of his videos I am pretty much in love with. I find myself quoting them every once in a while (to the dismay of everyone who knows me).

But the reason I love Shane Dawson is because I feel like deep down we can all relate to him. We've all got a little bit of Shananay inside of us, just trying to break out.

Here's his latest awesome video: 

LETS SMOKE A FATTY BLUNT (LEGALLY THAT IS)

So you and I have all heard of what's going on in the states, hopefully. Since I've been here in France, I have paid more attention to what's going on back home in the states then I ever have before. So guess what's happening?

California is could become my favorite state, and maybe the government is about to pull its head out of its ass.

I'm also going to see how many different names for pot I can think of without looking it up on Urban Dictionary. To help you out, I will henceforth be highlighting all terminology in a lovely color green, just for this occasion.

There has been a lot of talk about the legalization of the 420 lately, and although I'm sure not all of you agree with this idea, I must say I am looking forward to the next couple years with hardcore enthusiasm. And believe me, I'm not just saying this because I like to have a bowl every once in a while. In fact, I rarely ever smoke, but I can't deny something good when I hear about it. First, lets please regard that California is putting a stop to the massive raids being put up against those who legal sell mary-jane to cancer patients and all those other guys who need to be baked just to feel something other then the sting of chemical radiation treatment. The Obama administration made it clear that although ganja is technically illegal, the police can no longer raid licensed dealers to the terminally ill. I call that a small victory. 

Now lets talk about the fact that a metric fuck ton of states (for example Michigan) have been pushing bills to legalize grass for other terminally ill folks.  And of course those awesome Obama/Biden guys just nominated Seattle police chief Gil Kerlikowske as America's next Drug Czar (oh and Obama overturned that wonderful Bush idea of making the drug-dude apart of the cabinet, because when did Bush ever have a bad idea?). For those of you who are A) not from Seattle or B) are from Seattle but don't partake in cannabis, Kerlikowske is the man who decided that Seattle cops were too busy to care about dube and decriminalized the action of personal use. Now, you can toke up next to a cop and he won't care! God, I love Seattle. 

That one guy everyone thinks is hot but I'm not so into, Michael Phelps got caught puffing on some pod and guess what? He hasn't shot anyone, is still as smart as he was before, can probably kick your ass in a swimming pool, and was only dumped by Kellogs. Oh hey, wait, he's still making more money then my education costs, I think he's doing good. Did we just disprove a myth?

The recent news that a Mexican Drug Lord made the Forbes list this year, and the fact that tensions around the US-Mexican boarder have been high due to herb trafficing has really started to shine a light on all the under-the-counter crap that goes on because of shish smuggling: including but not limited to the selling to minors, all the untaxed money thats being given to this Mexican drug dude, and - oh you know - death. People are started to notice, is it actually worth it?

Introduce the facts: weed has completely dethroned corn as America's highest grossing cash crop, and I don't think I'm alone when I say that legalization of mexican locoweed would do wonders for our dying economy. Alcohol prohibition ended in the hight of the great depression, 1933, which pumped up the economy and ended illegal bootlegging. Jolly green legalization would get our economy back on track in a heart beat. Legalize it, and then tax the shit out of it like they do for alcohol and cigarettes. Remember moonshiners? Just like dealers would be, those guys were out of business in a snap. Not to mention think of how many new jobs will be created because of production, packaging, advertisement, and - of course - sales.

This leads me to my last and final thing to write about today folks. California has a bill that would monitor, tax, and -above all - legalize the hay. And with all the money that will come from this, and how many stoners live in California, I am really praying for this one guys. And not just cause I like to dabble in kawaii electric every now and again. Think about how much this will do for public safety, health, the economy, and not to mention being a little more badass when I tell people "Yeah, I'm from America". Come on California, do good for us baby. You failed me on Prop 8, but I'm just waiting for the day where head shops and rolling papers aren't just for cigarettes. 

I am so excited to go to Amsterdam for my vacation. 

WOMEN OF THE WORLD: THIS IS AWESOME

So I am going to apologize now to all the non-female readers of this blog (which I don't think there are any because only my friends read this and for some reason I don't have any male friends), but this is something I just HAD to share with my fellow women. I found something out from my friend Kathryn (not to be confused with Catherine) today, she told me about this awesome thing called a MoonCup. Now I don't know what it is about female oriented things having some odd connection with the moon, but my mom's into it too so maybe I'll have to fill her in on this awesome phenomena. 

The MoonCup is pretty much a tampon, but its NOT a tampon. Its a little cup for all that yucky menstruation crap. You put it in, it fills with vaginal gunk, then after four to eight hours you empty it into the toilet. Here's the kicker: you simply clean the cup and USE IT AGAIN! When you're done with your period, just clean it out and store it in the little bag it comes in.

I know this probably sounds really weird, and I thought the same thing about it too when Kathryn was telling me about it, but after doing a little research I think this thing is pretty awesome. Its better for the environment, saves money in the long run, is better for you (the mooncup has no connection to TSS, isn't a disgusting breading ground for bacteria, and is better for your vagina in multiple ways), and last but not least - its super comfortable. Now that being said, I haven't tried it yet, but after hearing the rants and raves of both personal testaments from strangers as well as Kathryn, I'm going to order my own.

I hardcore encourage all of you to take a look into this thing with an open mind, because this is awesome - purely awesome. Take a look at the website, and see what you all think. The original company is based in the UK and doesn't ship to the states, but because America copies everything from England's language to the concept of Big Brother, there is an American based company where you can get your mooncup if you so desire (the American company also has a latex option, but I think silicon is less creepy, plus the American latex one looks too much like a plunger). 

I am going to order mine RIGHT NOW.

THIS MAN IS MY HERO (SORT OF)

According to CNN, around 2 a.m. in buck-fuck-nowhere in Australia, a kangaroo attacked a human.

And by attacked I mean jumped through a window all ninja style and destroyed the place with its bad ass ninja skills. Oh, thats a paraphrased quote by the way. You'll see what I mean.

Although I am not okay with cruelty to animals, when a kangaroo smashes through MY window at 2 in the morning, I'll want this brave man with me. 

PUSHING DAISIES

Because for some reason, I only jump onto loving a t.v. show when its been:

A) Out for a long time and on its third season.

B) Cancelled.

This would be an example of column B, Pushing Daisies is probably one of my new favorite t.v. shows. And it was cancelled after two seasons. None the less, I fully encourage all of you to take a look at this show. Perhaps a sudden flood of fan based support will bring the show back, at least to wrap up some loose ends. 

This show really makes me want to learn to bake pies and bag a six-foot-three boy with social issues.

FUCK MY LIFE

My friend Kathryn (not to be confused with Catherine), showed me this awesome  website today. Fuck-my-life-dot-com is one you have to add to you weekly blog check. This page is hilarious, filled with wonderful fuck my life moments from all over the world. This one is definitely going on my favorite website list. Seriously, I'm in love. 

...THAT DRIVES ME INSANE

Because I am in a super bad mood right now, I am going to give you all a blog about all the miniscule things that I avidly hate. Right now I have my period, I'm getting sick, I'm sore all over, I hit my head, I want alone time (which I never get here), and someone just got on my nerves. So in the spirit of all that ugly hate, a blog post about random things that I hate in no particular order.

GUM-CHEWERS

You might as well be rolling a giant piece of meat in your mouth, because thats the kind of effect it gives me. I rarely ever chew gum because I don't want to become that which I hate, and that is a loud-gum-popping-can't-chew-with-their-mouth-closed-annoying-person. I always get stuck to this person on the bus, or in class, or its the person I happen to be hanging out with at that particular moment. This is one of my pet peeves, and its worse when they're chewing it right in your ear. For me it brings this anger bubbling up into my body, I just can't take it. Which also might have something to do with the fact that I can't chew gum for longer then ten minutes before feeling like I want to throw up, so maybe I am secretly jealous. All I know is the other day in class I was stuck next to a girl who was a nasty combination between the gum-chewer and the whisperer (who will be coming up in this blog shortly). I almost decked this chick.

SNOW

You know you've become an adult when this symbol of childhood and innocence starts becoming something that you smite when you get the chance. But I'm not bitter (okay I AM), I use to love snow. That is until SNOWMAGGEDON 2008 right before I left for France and I didn't get to see my family or my friends at all. Now whenever it snows here in Grenoble, I find myself sneering at the snow gods, only remembering how horrible it was to be trapped in my Seattle Apartment for a week and a half. There are few moments in my life where I have been so stur-crazy that I had to leave where ever I was, and in those circumstances, it was usually pretty easy for me to leave. But around the time when my roommate had to pretty much tackle me to the ground because I wanted to get out of Seattle so badly and it was too dangerous to drive, I realized my love for snow was as icy as the winter itself (omg what an awesome metaphor).

ARIZONA

I'm sixteen, and my father wants to take us on a family vacation because we have never had one, and I soon learned why. Its because my mother is an airhead, my father is equally airhead-y and a control freak, and I cannot live for an extended period of time without a large body of water. This is Arizona, where there is nothing but desert, and desert, and rich people who for some strange reason like the desert. Now I'm sure a lot of awesome things have come from Arizona, I just can't think of any right now and I'm fairly sure nothing will come to me later. The only good thing was that I had a pool, filled with six year olds, but no big deal. 

SELF HELP BOOKS

Most likely written by some crazy religious fanatic or Dr. Phil, this is the perfect thing for someone who has absolutely no control over their lives. Now I'm sure there are some good self help books out there, but my personal hate spawned from a specific experience when - during a really hard time of my life - someone who was supposed to be my friend (but had effectively "ditched" me because she couldn't handle my hard time), met with me just to give me a self help book. I was insulted, I was furious, I was laughing. The situation ended with my mouth hanging open and my firm choice then and there to never read a self help book. I still have that book, although I have never opened it. 

THE WHISPER-ER

This is right up there with gum chewing for me. And for those of you stalkers, yes this is just what that girl in class next to me was doing in correlation with her awful gum chewing. Whenever I am in a room that is quiet, the last thing I want to hear is the buzzing of whispers in the back of the room. We get a lot of these in our language labs, that person who just can't seem to type out a sentence in French or read a French word without whispering it to themselves. Combine that with the gum chewer like I had in my last class and you have a world class horrifying-Kat moment. I had to put on my headphones and crank out my itunes to drown this chick out, but of course nothing could drown out that horrid combination of sounds.

STRONG PERFUME

Now I know that this one is because I have a really sensitive sense of smell. When I smell a woman wearing really strong perfume, my nose scrunches up and I get the sense that I am about to up-chuck. I also have a wonderful habit of sitting next to these folks, and maybe if I'm lucky they are gum chewing whisperers too. All I know is that I am always super afraid when I go to buy/put on perfume since I secretly fear that I'll - once again - become that which I hate.

CHALK

I don't really understand this one either. But I think it has something to do with the gritty feeling it has on your hands, especially when it gets under your nails. I don't really have too much to say about this one, since I don't really see chalk used anymore except for on sidewalks and old classrooms. But I've heard they now have glow-in-the-dark chalks and bubble chalk, but I don't know how the latter one works.